I needed to go to the farmers market today so I recruited my friend Tams who has a food blog and she was willing to go with me. Upon arrival, right out of the cage we saw two old people unloading their electric scooters and sporting twin “I love Jesus” baseball caps, which struck me as odd that they didn’t smile or greet us when we said hello. (Probably spent all their love on Jesus and had none left for regular people). Right away we were captivated by what looked like the biggest-ass grapefruits we had ever seen! We asked what they were and unexcitedly we were told they were Pomelos. They taste sweet and just a tad like a grapefruit, we bought two. Tams, a foodie, was there to take pics for her blog “Flip Flop Foodie” and she asked the gal, “What do you do with them?” (as in, share some creative culinary uses for this magical citrus delight!) The vendor looked at her like, “wtf do you THINK you do with it! You can cram it up your ass for all I care!” On to the booth where they sell the tiny little crinkle knit shiny tops that could fit folded into a matchbox. Down the produce aisle, a vendor quizzed Tams about where her bag was for the Pomelos (like she had stolen them), she quickly found me and bummed a bag off the sock lady booth. At the sock booth we were hacking around taking pics of the pomelos. (Tammy made a lovely set of knockers for herself and we spoofed the Twilight apple shot) The sock booth man became very interested in the Pomelos that he must see 100 times a day and asked us about them..after seeing us take boob shots with them I was afraid he was going to try to buy us a funnel cake and ask for a hummer. I do love the sock booth…you can get like 100 pair of “real” Nike socks for two bucks and this is valuable to me because my younguns go through them like Kleenex.
We stopped at the god-awful-gawdy “miracle” comb both that had the smallest mannequin head ever, made with real hair weave, when the clerk was all up in our business like we were going to steal them. I really was there to crack on them but the clerk killed my erection for making fun of them since she was almost glued to my ass. Last stop was the tweezer, dental instrument, scissor man booth where all of Polk’s dental do-it-yourselfer’s get the goods. I asked the man about uses for a 12” bent tweezer and he told me: Motor cycle part grabber, aquarium cleaner and pasta tester.. c’mon dude…we both know they are for meth cooking and for bootleg organ harvesting. The afternoon produced 2 pomellos, 2 pics, a sack of strawberries and some cherry tomatoes which I sat on in the car.