Topless Tuesday at the Thrift

toplessI am late for everything.  I have two teen sons, a full time job (I call it my “Big girl job”), the Vintage Warehouse space and have a full load at USF.  So what that means is that when I am somewhere…somewhere else is a sufferin’.  I have to work extra hard at everything to get it done and that includes scoring my good junk and antiques to paint.  And before you get your thong in a wad, I am not all about painting great-Aunt-Gerties prized Berkey and Gay buffet that has been in the family 3 generations.  I am about getting a half sanded buffet that Jolene is selling for her crack habit.  (I am kidding about the crack but it’s funny to say so I do).  I haul these half sanded junkerz in and they roll back out like they have had Botoxx and a full-on ass-lift.  So, I see it as a service to it.

At any rate…   I rolled up to one of my face honey holes (I can’t tell you where or I’ll have to take you out) and on the step were these tops…a bikini, a ragged out bra and a push up bra.  Panic came over me as I feared it was Topless Tuesday at the honey hole and here I was knocking these A and B cups straight out of the game.  A tingle rushed up as I knew that if this were a contest for a discont that I WAS GONNA WIN!.  I quickened my step, rushed the door to see every heiffer in there with a shirt on.  Dang… I had missed it again… me and my full schedule.

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Fugly Fraternal Twins

I have a problem.  I like chairs.  Chairs are so interesting and have so much personality.  Old chairs are the best, they come from a time when the wood was real and the people who made them were craftspeople and artisans…not some dude who staples presswood to other presswood wearing earbuds and waitng for the time clock to tick.  These two particular chairs were hideous and putrid green.  They were ornry too.  I tried stripping them and they fought back, sending me for a triage and tetnus party before I asked the upholsterer to strip them so I could pick them up again and paint them.  They sat in my garage a long time.  I just knew that the work and expense to make them lovely wasn’t what I was feeling in the spring, summer, fall…..

One day I started the painting and got my revenge on the twins with distressing and waxing and fauxing years of character onto their wooden bones as if punishment were the only thing these two knew.  Happy with the result,  I labored over the fabric and decided that I wanted a clean palette of french linen and a European look.  I think, aside from our toil and bloodshed, they turned out to be quite serene and civilized!  These have taken yet another ride- to the Vintage Warehouse Lakeland and are ready for their new forever home where they promise to behave.

Addiction, eviction and prediction.

Exciting News on the Junk Front!

I have been lucky enough to score some warehouse space with two other gals!  (Code for:  Husbands finally saying, “Move these six dressers and buffets out of my garage or I will leave you for a stripper at Showgirls!”)

At any rate, these gals, Kim and Mendy are wildly creative and have a great eye for all things vintage, industrial, urban chic, eclectic and blingy.  We have become friends over our love of chicken wire, chalk paint and burlap.  We have so many goodies that we have decided to raise the door on our hobby once a month for a fantastic purge!  It will be fabulous!  There will be suitcases and furniture, fur covered benches, head-boards, dining sets, lawn and garden delights and so much more.

You see, we now have a girl cave.. where w can come and craft, collect, recycle/repurpose/reuse, paint and teach, share and drink fizzy drinks, while we work on our dance moves.  Why hadn’t we done this before?

Oh yeah, because our children were small and our plates were full.  It seems that we now have a keen eye for what we like, what tickles our fancy.  We want to share those goodies, to build our sisterhood and fill central Florida with things we can cherish in our homes.

It all sounds so pretty and communal doesn’t it?  Well let me tell you how it’s really rolling out:  For the last 3 days I have had to pay my 108 pound teen son tn bucks an hour to help me haul 14 loads of my garage to Wallace Road.  He is learning to drive so he insists on doing so.  We have run 2 red lights, a stop sign and damned near mowed down an old lady biking the Fort Fraiser Trail.  We put the fear of God in her so bad that I was sure she filled a Depends in crossing that stretch of the trail.  I have managed to beat up my rig pretty good and dismantle my femininity as I haul huge furniture around like a gypsy teamster.  In my mind I’m Rachel Ashworth.  In reality, I am Horace McGillicutty.

I am proud to say that the hubs can now park his Prius in the garage.  I still have several loads to go before I can call myself completely relocated but I am well on my way to tenancy.  I am tapped out of ten bucks an hour pay so I am single-handedly hauling stuff over to Wallace Road.  I double backed on my flip-flop yesterday and almost tripped with a huge armoire on top of me.  I would hate for the men who also have space out there to find me, Flat Dana, underneath a three hundred pound armiore with birds painted on it… ultimately killed by a flip-flop and a passion for ruffles.

If you aren’t busy, come see us.  I predict you will find something that makes you remember a time long ago, or something that makes you feel happy to look at.  For us, it’s that… and a place to make and do and gather.  Our warehouse sweet warehouse.

Vintage Warehouse Sale

Friday April 20th, 2012

4-8 p.m.

4310 Wallace Road, Lakeland , FL 33813

(Warehouse is across from Publix on Bartow Road in Highland City)

Follow Signs!!!!!

 

Dealers, Pickers, Decorators, Photographers, are welcome!!!

 

Shabby Chic, Industrial, French Country, Primitive, Unique Cottage Treasures, Repurposed  and Salvaged Items!

 

Hosted by Shabby Chic Addiction, Modern Vintage Home, and

One Chic Vintage

Call :863-944-4789 (Dana)