It’s Ugly and Sweaty in Here and My Furniture Needs a Ride

harlequin Drexel dresserscriptombre

No one reads this blog so I am going to make some confessions.  Get your popcorn (all one of you), this is going to be pube curling.  I haven’t had anything to paint so I went on a buying binge and got some great stuff to pour myself into.  I was earmarking that money for some work shoes (I’m in sales) because my shoes look like what old bagladies leave in the bin.  I needed to paint, to create, to have furniture for company in my garage where I paint, daydream and meditate (for lack of a better word).  This week I have painted two dressers, a mirrored vanity, a big chair, twin nightstands, a round side table and a tall chest of drawers.  (THAT’S A FREAKIN’ LOT!)

Most of this painting week I have been up late in the garage with my iced water, radio and thoughts.  In my great creative bursts I also decided to add some funny banter to my facebook page.  If you write (anything) you are a writer.  People tell me I am funny and that enjoy my posts.  Lots of sweet folks have told me that bad days are made better by my ridiculousness and humor.   Hearing/reading that always makes me feel that part of my “being here” must be to lighten the loads of others in this way..without getting waaaay to sappy and Oprah-ish, I do feel that we all have jobs here on earth and they all result in the service of other people (NO MATTER WHAT YOUR OCCUPATION IS).

This week I made one of my usual stupid-ass posts and a lady ripped me a new one, and came back for seconds.  Maybe she doesn’t know that my funnies aren’t always 100% real and that I take some creative/comedic license to bring the funny out.  Isn’t that what comedians do?  What writers do?  I would never hurt someone online just to make a funny.  The truth is, my post was an elaboration in jest of a similar situation.  No one was harmed in the making of the funny….except me.  How do people feel like they can take others to school and stand on a soapbox for a tale weaved for their entertainment?  I was asked if I was 12 years old.  Ouch!  I should have replied with:  “No, I am a very gifted 9 year old” or “Yes, I’m 12 years old and you have insulted a child” or “Really, you wanna take me to school, right here?  Right now?  Uh, we have never met and how can you be so angry?”  or “Somebody needs a hug”.

This person’s spanking helped me turn out some really nice things that I am super-proud of.  I thought of this lady who likes to spank while I painted and was grateful for the upset that she caused me which sent me outside.  I enjoyed the heat, the mental break and the time to myself.  Do you feel bad for me?  Don’t, I treated myself with some chocolate, dog pats and fell in love again with songs on the radio that reminded me of vacations as a kid.  Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay..watching the tides roll away..

There’s more.  I have 8 (count them) pieces of painted furniture that all need a ride to the warehouse.  I tried meditating them there… didn’t work.  I think I am all done done painting for a while.



9 thoughts on “It’s Ugly and Sweaty in Here and My Furniture Needs a Ride

  1. Well Dana I think you’re funny and I missed whatever the broom rider chided you for. And sometimes I share your blogs and FB stuff with others. One day when I was in physical therapy for my poor, broken leg, I showed my massage therapist your story about splitting your pants in Publix and we had a great laugh. Made the hour go faster.

  2. love your humour and if some don’t like it , thats their prob/ .god bless em, some take life too serious lol. you are hilarious!!!

  3. I don’t understand people who feel the need to lash out on someone who wrote something they didn’t like. If I see something I don’t like, I simply don’t look at it. I didn’t realize I was so gifted by being able to simply “look away”…LOL. And if your furniture needs a ride, you have my number!!

    • Tessa, you are the nicest lady that reads my stuff and I STILL think God will forgive you for it…eventually. 🙂 If we can find some “dry” time to get this junk down there this week I would soooooo appreciate it. Praying it there has not worked…well, maybe it has, huh?

  4. I love to read your crap…lmao I love it when someone pushes me to beat something up in a good way. You sure put a spanking on that furniture,hope we meet one day, I think you are my kinda gal !

  5. Shoot, girl, more often than not it’s your FB posts that pull me out of some “mad at the world” funk that I’ve been in for hours and gets me back outside paintin’. Not sure what it was that someone had a problem with, but they obviously don’t know you and your compassion for others 🙂 And I agree with you that Tessa is one of the sweetest people I know…she has transported my babies to the Warehouse many times 🙂

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