Fesses Broyeur

“Fesses Broyeur”.  Roughly translated in English (from French) it means Ass Crusher.  I have a life threatening hobby:  I paint furniture.  Sometimes “scoring ” the piece is sort of like what a drug addict must feel like or what a geologist experiences when they get the right piece.  Sometimes it happens all legitimate and what-not in a real store and everything and sometimes it’s done during a sketchy Craigslist transaction or even worse,… roadside in the dark as a curb side freebie.  Now that the if and butts have been thrown out there I will confess to how this particular piece was acquired.  This beast was purchased in a thrift shop for more than I would like to admit but it is SOLID and in such spectacular shape that I just had to get it!  Truly, it looked like it was never used.  The solid construction of this piece is just amazing and it will be FAB- U- LOUS in someone’s home.  But…. I over-estimated it’s bulk.  A big, strong man and a furniture moving flat got it into my rig and when i got home I was all by my onesie.  I, in my work clothes, steadied my feet on the driveway and started pulling “Fesses” out of the back of the SUV.  Before I knew it, I was overcome by the beast and found myself under it while the KIA gave birth to the dresser/buffet that never seemed to stop coming.  It was an option of me taking the brunt or letting it hit the slab.  I let it fall on me.  I think it scraped one of my boobs off on the way down (I still can’t find it in the front yard) but I did manage to recover and paint it this weekend.  It is all done in a silky chalk painted finish in a French Linen base with Graphite trim and Harlequin drawers in White and Graphite.  I hope someone falls in love with it… I would hate to have to adopt it…it’s eyeing my remaining boob.

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8 thoughts on “Fesses Broyeur

  1. That is hilarious! Sorry about the boob…. but I’m glad you saved the dresser – it looks like a great one – and I love how the paint job turned out! 🙂

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